"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
