Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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