yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
