I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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