When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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