i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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