I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
