you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
