I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
