we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
