Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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