Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
