Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
