we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
