dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
