btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize