can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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