A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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