I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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