Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
