why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
