I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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