Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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