I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
