Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
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