I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
