It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
