He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
