i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
