I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
