If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
