You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
