She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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