To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
