i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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