You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
