She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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