U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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