I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
