I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
