Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
