I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize