The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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