That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize