I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
