How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
