Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
