I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
