..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was like eating out sand paper
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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