I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
