normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
