evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
