Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I will be naked everywhere
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
