Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
drinking out of a sandbucket again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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