I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
