You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
pray to the hookup gods
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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