You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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