I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
