Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
