I puked a lego.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
