Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
