My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
