The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
