I think I am morally bankrupt
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
