I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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