Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
