ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
