i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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