i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
