Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
