put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
