For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Houston, we have a blender
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
