what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
