U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
