dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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