well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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