Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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