Dude my mom stole all your condoms
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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