Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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