That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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